Here's some gibberish for the day....... Happy Halloween......




                           The small empty room is awash with sunlight.The white walls only amplify the brightness pouring through the old factory windows. I'm knelling over Faris, confused. He isn't moving, I can't remember how...... how we got here. We were making our way to an unfinished wing in the renovated factory lofts. Climbing the stairs. Teasing him to chase me. Luring him here, luring him for..........
                         I am still on my knees, waiting. The wall opens, eyes seem to float in mid air. Dark blood colored eyes glow in a beastly shadow crouched at the top of the opening. " I have brought him.Have I found favor?" my voice holds no fear, only anticipation. The shadow steps down into the light, transforming to a man. A beautifully short statured man whose eyes are now a brilliant emerald green. As he moves across the room his features take shape, short thinning salt and pepper hair with remnants of brown still visible. His chin takes on the stubble of a beard. His long thin fingers grow long pointy ebony nails. His skin is ghostly fair. Black jeans. Collarless unbuttoned white silk shirt. No shoes. Even his feet are beautiful. On his right hand a signet ring appears. Ruby earrings adorn his left ear while diamonds shine from his right. He crosses the room. "You have done well," his voice a deep raspy baritone. He kneels to take his victim. I do not move. He drops the shell of  Faris as he leans toward me.He traces my neck with a pointy nail, cups my chin in his hand and pulls us both to our feet,"Rise child you owe me no homage, only obedience." We lock eyes," I have shown obedience, have I found favor?", my voice betraying my impatience. Anger and amusement flicker in his eyes. Again he traces my neck, pulling my head back, leaning close," Your perfume is sweet." I feel his breath moving over my throat as he listens to my life pulsing through my veins, listening for skips of fear. There are none. His face brushes mine as he moves a step back. A small trickle of blood runs from his lips. I wipe it with my thumb. He licks it off. He leans close, I can smell the sweet smell of blood, but he does not kiss me. He licks blood on to my lips. I taste it. He draws away, looking deep into my eyes. Baring his right shoulder he makes a rip in his milky flesh. His rich tainted blood fountains as he watches the hunger grow in my eyes. Pulling me into his shoulder he whispers,"You have found favor, feed my child." His cold thick blood is intoxicating.


                 Just thinking out loud for all the world to see...........

                                      Realization comes in many forms, slaps in the face, startled, slowly creeping and quiet dawning. The other day I sat just thinking about how life had been going and I realized something that made me very sad and bitterly disheartened, it was a slow dawning realization. In my subconscious I guess I've always known just never wanted to admit my suspicion to myself. But as I sat and hashed over some of the little things I had witnessed, they began to add up to one big thing. Whats REALLY funny is these realizations have not dawned on the individuals involved.Well part of them anyway, part are very aware. I should scream my thoughts from the house top but being me, I will not.After all they are only suspicions of a VERY warped mind. One that has become jaded bitter and really shallow. Its not that I don't see, its more like I've stopped caring. This scares me because I do not like that I am becoming a just don't give a damn person. But I am so very tired of feeling like I am the only one who does give a crap. I watch all the liars and cheaters living happy lives and I plug along trying to follow the rules and treat others well to the best of my ability and constantly get the crap storms dumped on me. Gee I sound like a whinny brat.Sorry. My life is very good. I am well aware that there are many others who would be happy to walk in my shoes and live my great life with my wonderful family and friends. I seem to be gripping alot more lately maybe I should write more it seems to help release some of the blackness. My gibberish rattles around the empty spaces in my head causes trouble more often than not but mostly drives me crazier.

                                    Just thinking out loud for all the world to see...................

October Skies

                            The days grow shorter, the nights longer. The sunset rage pink scarlet and icy blue across the mares tail clouds. It is beauty undefined. The sunrise is similar yet vastly different. Vivid colors that scream across the early morning sky. The fading green of the foliage gives way to the monochromatic orange-brown of quiet death. Morning air so crisp you can see your breath give way to summer heat in the mid-afternoon, only to relinquish in the end to wondrous cool of autumn night. Oh the joyous season of the Triduum of Allhallowtide. Time of silent reflection and release. I find healing meditation in the fury of the dying of the day, sadness at its loss. Silent tears trickle slowly chilling my cheeks. Awakening to crisp rebirth of the fiery morning, day unwritten unmarred by mistakes and mis-steps of the previous day. Each end and beginning different daily,only the name is the same, Sunset and Sunrise. A time of dying slumber,the fields golden with dry grasses of summer.
                           Pardon my gibberish, my mind is swirling with bits of incomplete thoughts that will only go away if committed to print, maybe.
                           Just thinking out loud for all the world to see.................................

                                     There was a time when I could find the beauty of even the grey days. But as the days grow darker the beauty has hidden itself from my blind eyes. The joy of the quiet has become the screams of silent voices that fall on deaf ears.
Who I am I am not. Who I was  I was not. Who I will be I will not be.
          Just thinking out loud for all the world to see.........

                              Humiliation: a state of reduced lowliness brought on by mistreatment be it intentional or accidental. The results of said humiliation can range from humorous to devastating. A slip of the tongue for instance can cause GREAT humiliation with devastating results. Then let that slip of the tongue be brushed over like it never happened, no apology or anything because the speaker was probably praying no one heard the slip yet knowing full well everyone present did. Everyone. Including the person it humiliated and the person who gloried at the slip. Not a simple ill spoken word but a complete "how in the hell did you say what you just said" ill spoken word. Despite the old rhyme "sticks  and stones" WORDS hurt bitterly. Think before speaking. THINK. If thinking is a challenge then don't speak.
                               Humorous slips are usually caught right away by everyone in hearing distance and followed by a riotous fit of laughter. The speaker might be slightly humiliated but no harm is inflicted on anyone. Just a sheepish oops with the correct statement uttered while still laughing. No harm no foul.
                            Just thinking out loud for all the world to see.............