trying to find words to soothe
            trying to find kindness to gentle
            searching for alil understanding
            searching for alil defineability
            reaching for a hand to strengthen
            reaching for a light in the darkness
            to tired to sleep
            to tired to function
            blindly going thru the motions
            stumbling thru life as I know it
            no ones first choice
            but everyones reliable
            quietly watching as they laugh
            knowing the jokes on me
            oh well atleast they find a brief moment of glee


......just thinking out loud for all the world to see.....
           

                  I am not who I was nor am I who I will be
                 I am who I am that is strangely plain to see

        you can not know it does not show
        you can not tell i hide it well
        emptiness loneliness cold
        they think i care
        they miss the blank stare
        void hollow vast
        laughter masks the howling screams
        smiles cloak the snarls
        piercing primitive vicious
        they'll never notice
        they have demons of their own


........just thinking out loud for all to see......  
       

  haven't written cause nothing good to say so best say nothing the blue orb continues to twirl round the fireball theres still birthing theres still burying


...................... just thinking out loud for all the world to see..................