Sometimes you don't realize that you miss people, they ain't really gone but they ain't as big a part of your life as before. Then when they can be around more you realize,"Wow I have missed this person." Crazy migrates to crazy and we're all insane here. We all bring our own twist of crazy to the table and look out world we are on the loose. No telling what we'll dream up or get into. We are a small tight knit group of weirdos but we all accept each other for who we are. The love is unconditional. We help each other. We terrorize each other. We defend each other. We chastise each other. We hold each other up. We tear each other down. We are each others greatest friends. We are each others worst nightmares.We can all manage on our own but we are better together. We are completely dysfunctional here in our own little version of "normal life."


      .....just thinking out loud for all the world to see..... 

                  this is not the first time 
          it will not be the last 
           with flip of a dime
          coming from the past
          i saw it from afar
          limping primping chasing fast
          should have jumped in the car
          you seemed to be having a blast
          darling don't you see
          this farce can never be cast
          for i am the past present future
          you know the others will not last


    ....just thinking out loud for all the world to see.... 
          
          
          

kahlil Gibran The Madman Part 1

squeaky wheel

            Ever heard the old saying the squeaky wheel gets the most oil? Just wondering. Do you know what it means? I wouldn't go as far as saying I am incapable of being the squeaky wheel but I prefer to leave that drama to others. Going along relatively quiet and muttling thru my own issues. It is very very very hard for me to ask for help, even when I desperately need it. I am of the school of thought that if something is right in front of your face then you can plainly see what needs to be taken care of...... but I am learning this is WRONG. There is always someone or something more important at the times I need help the most, which usually leaves me feeling like an ingrate for wanting help in the first place, so I push on and things either don't get done until I am more able or I give myself the "buckupthingsain'tbadquitbeingawussy" pep talk. Besides if there was a real need it would be obvious right? I mean it's obvious for everyone else so mine has to show to right? and then I'd get the oil too.? Yeah, well did I mention I'm also invisible. LOL  seems that way anyway. Oh well, I'm squeaking........sorta........just a lil bit. eekeekeek  No really I'm fine I don't need any help but thank you anyway.


 ..............just thinking out loud for all the world to see........ 

           i carry the scars more on the inside than out... i did not survive, i am surviving... my feet still burn from my walk thru the fire... i carry the scars more on the inside than out...try as i may to remain the same, it changed me...made me stronger and weaker with the same blow...made me humble and hateful with the same blow...made me grateful and selfish with the same blow...as i roll into my sixth year post treatment the fear is always there small shadowy hiding behind positive its over i am well...but what am i ?..is it just lying in wait to sucker punch me when i least expect it?.. to that thought i say go away... and if it does return then i will stand feet planted firmly shoulders squared for the blow and fight once again fight as if my life depended on it because it does fight with all my strength and then some fight fight fight... i carry the scars more on the inside than the out...



       just thinking out loud for all the world to see....

Kenny Chesney - I'm Alive

Craig Morgan~Tough lyrics