Some days I wonder why I do what I do, it only comes to naught. Trying to do the best by the people around me but it's pointless. It's like running in place, I never get any where. It's never enough. Someone is always griping about what isn't done or worse griping about was IS done, because it wasn't done how they would have done it. And yet they make no effort to do any of it themselves. It freaking hilarious. Most days I am a walking screw-up. Everything I touch turns to a dung-heap. I know I sound ohwoeisme, I am not looking for sympathy. Writing gets it out of my head and sometimes helps me work through the sorrow. There isn't any happy anymore it's all bitterness. One day rolls into the next with sickness, pain and constant drudgery. The few moments of delight are swiftly met with cruelty, and the brief relief it provide is quickly stomped out. We are all suffering physically, our bodies health have went drastically down hill.  Mentally ........ mentally we are all nuckingfuts!!!!!!  But this is how my life is now. I have stopped looking for the light at the end of the tunnel, it has caved in from both ends. There is only bleakness. There is no wonder in the sunsets. No joy in the rain. There is the nuisance of eating, nightly chasing sleep and our vain attempts to keep each other sane.
                Just thinking out loud for all the world to see....................