God tells us to put our faith in Him not in man. Man is fallible. Not so much on purpose but because we are flesh and blood. We are lying deceitful vengeful skin and bone. But that being said we are HUMAN. We get sick. We die. We move away. We leave. We are only dependable to a point. Most of us would never deliberately hurt each other but life makes us undependable. Death has a way of pushing faith to its breaking point. We begin to question. We begin to hate. We become embittered.  We withdraw from our lives. We shut out loved ones. We become careless. We stop caring. We stop loving. We stop enjoying the life God has allowed us to lead.
                I myself have shut myself away from anything or anyone new. And I catch myself distancing myself from everyone and everything that is already present in my life. I try not to do so but its happening so subtle that I am not noticing as I should. Numbness crept in and will not release its hold. Things that should bring joy barely merit a faint smile. There is a coldness prevelent where warmth of personality used to be. My sickness left me scared and yearning to live life to the fullest. Everyone elses sickness has taking my zeal and left cold bitter emptiness.
                   Just thinking out loud for all the world to see.........