it is bitter this taste in my mouth,realizing........that you really do see me as selfish and a liar,the type of person who purposefully goes behind your back to do mean things just to hurt you,that i am worse than she ever was or is.the day you looked at her and said "how do you like your new livingroom?" it was good that i was sitting down away from everyone,i physically felt the blood drain to my feet and would have been on the floor but thought slip of the tongue and said nothing.she did not miss it and beamed from ear to ear, we both realized the same thing at that moment.somethings will always be and there is no changing what was there is only surrendering to the truth.the last thing i ever wanted to do was hurt you but that seems to be the only thing i do,repeatedly with my selfish attitudes and selfserving ways. saying i am sorry is not enough and you don't believe me anyway, you have heard it to many times before,only to be betrayed once again. i will say it again i am sorry i never meant to hurt you i apologize with no excuses.but know this i love you,yesterday today tomorrow.