Worse

    As bad as last year was, um this year so far has been worse.In March Mom was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer,there is no cure.She is allergic to Taxol and it preventives so her treatments have been limited.My sister is still fighting ovarian cancer, one of the research drugs made her a diabetic and the chemo weakened her heart to the point that they had to stop treatment. They are both still under going what treatments that they can tolerate. Our daughter is pregnant, a lil boy this time. We are all holding our breathe. We lost our granddaughter just three days before she was due,negligence. We all miss her everyday. And me well I am still just a big screwup. The words i speak, the actions i take , the decisions i make......all wrong. And ALWAYS pointed out to me crudely rudely and speedily. i am beginning to falter under the weight of all my ineptness. To just disappear oh that would solve it all. My health is really suffering, my mentalness is beginning to manifest itself in physical forms now. But i am still here so that counts for something.


                                      ...... just thinking out loud for all the world to see.......